Part 2 - Before I could create a safe place...

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   I love my safe place.


Before I could set up a space that was mine, a place to go when I needed to hide from threats and attacks, I had to believe it was important to look after myself. We don’t need to protect something that doesn’t matter. I want to keep my old photos safe―the pictures of my grandparents are irreplaceable. But I don’t care about protecting my cleaning supplies.

Shop for groceries, cook the meals, clean the house … is this what makes me worth the air I breathe? What is it about me that matters?

Fulfilling those roles, and many others, for my children and husband seemed important. They needed these things done. It mattered. For many years, that’s what defined me. Since it took significant time and energy, there wasn’t time left over for me. I wouldn’t be so selfish as to put my needs ahead of the needs of others.

I look at that belief now and shake my head. Why would my needs be inferior to anyone else’s?

I have health problems that could have been avoided if I’d looked after myself. There were terrible decisions and horrible outcomes that could have been prevented if only I had realized I mattered.

So how do we get there? How do we go from ‘I don’t matter’ to knowing, in our hearts and souls, that we do matter? Let’s look at that …

… in my next post.


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